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Second Adventures of Aiden Book Coming Soon!

I’m starting on the 2nd book in the Aiden series, and it’s going to be an underwater, treasure-hunting adventure!  There will be magical characters – some helpful, some scary – in Aiden’s quest to find buried treasure.  I’m really excited about releasing another children’s book.  These, by far, are my favorite types of books to write.

I also always consult my test team!  I have a small group of friends with children aged 1.5-11 who test all my books before they are published.  This turned out to be a really good thing for the first Aiden book; the alien was too scary and the “test team” said he needed to look more friendly. Who is going to argue with kids, eh?  So the alien got a friendlier look and smile, and the toddlers rejoiced.

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Girls v. Boys

This book didn’t get nearly as many downloads as Aiden’s series, so that makes me wonder.  Do children’s books aimed at boys get better results right now?

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Customer service is a mythical creature

Masta4650: Dreamstime.com

I think by now most of us are accustomed to the automated telephone services we get when calling a customer service line.  Very few and far between do we reach a live person, and if we do it is only through a series of button presses that might as well be morse code.  Or quantum physics.  Whatever it is, I don’t like it.

Last week I had a deposit that was supposed to happen automatically.  It did not arrive.  I am assigned a representative just for this purpose.  I call her; no answer.  I email her; no answer.  I repeat this for three days while being as polite and patient as I can be (and those who know me know this is almost impossible).  The weekend comes and still nothing.

By the time Monday rolls around, I am irritated.  I call the main number and ask to speak to someone in the department.  They offer to transfer me to my rep.  Nice try, I know that ring-around-the-rep trick.  They put me on hold then I disconnect.  So now the flames of a dragon are spewing out of my ears as I dial the number again.  I finally reach someone who is willing to help.  She looks up my account, finds the problem, and sends in a request to have it fixed.  She also explains the delay and assures me it will be applied on November 1st.

All is well, yes?  Nope.  The 1st arrives and nothing happens.  Even more insulting, the “rep” finally responds to my email asking if there is anything she can help with.  I reply that she could have helped last week by responding to my requests.  She sends this back: “I wanted to make sure that all of your questions were answered. Please feel free to let me know if you have any further questions. Have an amazing week!”  So not only is it okay to completely ignore someone who makes you tens of thousands per year, it is also acceptable to avoid apologizing or admitting laziness.  I put her on the list of people not to be told about how to defend themselves from the zombie apocalypse.

So another day past the 1st and here I am again.  I reply to her previous message asking where the funds are now and if she will bother replying before a week passes.  I will have to wait and see if and when a reply comes.  I could also call and get a random person, but that’s not the point people.  She is my rep.  She is supposed to reply.  I’m just glad she’s not my zombie apocalypse rep.  I’d be the first one to go.

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For the last time: I don’t have a penis.

Lsk: Dreamstime.com

Bigger size, better performance!

Cialis, Viagra, and more at our pharmacy!

Wow the ladies with more junk in your trunk!

These are emails I have gotten in the past day.  While they do go directly to the spam folder, why do I keep getting them?  I have reported them, forwarded them, flagged them, and everything short of flog them.  I assume it is the result of crappy filtering from my email provider, but it’s really getting old now.  I don’t have a penis.  I don’t plan on getting a penis.  If I did have a penis and wanted to enlarge it, I’m not starting that kind of a change by searching my spam folder.

Who is your email provider, and do they do a good job of not sending through emails about your private parts?

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Procrastination, self-hate, minor freak outs, and anxiety…oh, and I’m lazy

Not me. I would have zombies crashing through the walls while I held broccoli. I'll work on that next.

I have not posted on here in a while.  I have been meaning to.  Or I thought about it.  Once.  In the shower.  Or during one of many sleepless nights.  Either way, I finally said the hell with it.  I don’t need to be witty or charming.  I’m busy and freaking out on a manner of things.  So to burst the bubble once more, here’s a post.  You’re welcome.

School is the main reason for my recent hiatus.  I had a class that was worth more credit hours, and boy did they make up with it with more assignments and exams that the past two years combined.  Okay, I’m exaggerating.  But only the first part.

Basically I could not do anything outside of read, write, research, test, rinse, repeat, and pray for the zombie apocalypse.  And why did I not have the details on the zombie apocalypse?  What the hell people?  You must all be in a secret conspiracy to make sure I get eaten first.  Or you are hording all of the broccoli.  I’ll explain that later.

I can’t blame all of you.  The Zen Assassin warned me of the dangers of the apocalypse, as well as all the crazy crap that runs through our heads at four in the morning.  Do we learn?  No.  That ruins the fun.

So now I am planning my defense strategy for the zombie apocalypse.  This may or may not involve massive quantities of broccoli or wind.  Maybe both.  I’m still working on the science aspect.  I’ll get back to you.

In addition to the above and the all important zombie defense, my camera has a smudge.  A SMUDGE.  A few of my images were destroyed by some tiny stupid flicker of lint or water or whatever, so now I have to get the lenses cleaned.  And find a lens cap that stays on.  Mine tries to run away, probably from me.  Resistance is futile.  I will duct tape you if I have to.  Duct tape solves everything.  Unless you’re Greek.  Then use Windex.

The delay totally sucked.  I have at least 10 books in progress, another compilation for a poet, and a novel re-write with documentation to assess.  Luckily these people are patient with my intermittent psychosis.  Or they have no one else to do it for them.  I’m going with option 1.

Despite my total fail on the author front, sales for one of the books was unusually high the last month.  Not that I’m complaining.  I’m just surprised someone is sane enough to read them.  Or drunk enough to not know what they are buying online.  I’ll take either option.

Another job has turned into a real life version of the damn zombie apocalypse.  People are acting like they are possessed and working on world domination.  People.  It’s online.  In a box.  With a cable.  It’s not Narnia or some secret passage into taking over the world.  It’s a computer.  Walk outside.  Besides, Pinky and the Brain already have a job.  Look it up.

Why is it that at four in the morning every single sound you hear is some ghost, crazy zombie, or a werewolf waiting to kill you?  Seriously.  I should sleep more but I can’t.  This would be the ideal time to offer me anxiety or sleeping pills.  Or alcohol.  Or broccoli.  Totally the broccoli.

You may be thinking, “wth is with this post?  Has she gone crazy?”  Yes, yes I have.  And I’m preparing for the zombie apocalypse.  And I need broccoli.  Indulge me.

More on the broccoli later, and I promise to try to not be such an absent loser in the coming weeks.  No guarantees.

I also posted a link to a friend about kidney donation.  She’s dying.  She only needs one, you have two.  Suck it up and donate.  Somehow I also got into the finale of a contest to win 3 million frequent flier miles.  I have to do a video as my final entry.  Anyone that knows me knows I don’t even use the damn built-in webcam on my laptop.  Now I have to do a video?  Maybe I’ll use the zombies as a backdrop.  Or broccoli.  Either way it will rock.  Or totally suck.  Again, the first option makes more sense.

I’ll be back when I regain sanity, or to fill the hours of insomnia with random questions that hurt my brain daily.  Like zombies and broccoli.  You’re still wondering about the broccoli, aren’t you?

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Friends for Erin: Are you in the 0.2% that can save her life?

Despite years of dialysis, Erin keeps a great attitude and continues through the many surgeries, relocating of ports (access for dialysis), and attending school to help animals in a bigger way. We’d like her to have that chance, and we’re asking you to share this page in the hopes of finding her a match that can donate a kidney.

Only 0.2% of the population is estimated to be suitable matches for Erin, so we’re hoping to find some of those people. Going through the testing myself, the first blood typing test determines your blood type (unless you already have documentation for it) and the second is an antibody test to see if her body can accept your donation. The second test cost $25 at my local hospital and was very fast – a few tubes and you’re out of there.

Unfortunately I am not a match, but I’d love if you would consider getting testing and becoming her donor. If not, please at least pass this on, share with friends, family, and anyone that might be willing to try.

To make contact with Erin’s coordinator, contact:

Barbara Loiselle
University Hospital, Cleveland
(216) 844-2773

Thank you for reading and sharing this important page as Erin’s friends try to help make sure she stays with us.

Blood types B or O, and a very few AB blood types are the optimum donors. If you have this blood type and are willing to get tested, you just might save the life of someone who’s trying to find a donor within a 0.2% possibility throughout the entire population. Erin has no kidneys and lives off of dialysis (and has for years), which is now a critical situation because of limited access for her to receive treatment.

Like this, share this, and maybe we can stumble upon her 0.2%.

Erin’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Friends-For-Erin/283665968324156

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Creative Cover is born!

Creative Cover is born!.

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