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Customer service is a mythical creature

Masta4650: Dreamstime.com

I think by now most of us are accustomed to the automated telephone services we get when calling a customer service line.  Very few and far between do we reach a live person, and if we do it is only through a series of button presses that might as well be morse code.  Or quantum physics.  Whatever it is, I don’t like it.

Last week I had a deposit that was supposed to happen automatically.  It did not arrive.  I am assigned a representative just for this purpose.  I call her; no answer.  I email her; no answer.  I repeat this for three days while being as polite and patient as I can be (and those who know me know this is almost impossible).  The weekend comes and still nothing.

By the time Monday rolls around, I am irritated.  I call the main number and ask to speak to someone in the department.  They offer to transfer me to my rep.  Nice try, I know that ring-around-the-rep trick.  They put me on hold then I disconnect.  So now the flames of a dragon are spewing out of my ears as I dial the number again.  I finally reach someone who is willing to help.  She looks up my account, finds the problem, and sends in a request to have it fixed.  She also explains the delay and assures me it will be applied on November 1st.

All is well, yes?  Nope.  The 1st arrives and nothing happens.  Even more insulting, the “rep” finally responds to my email asking if there is anything she can help with.  I reply that she could have helped last week by responding to my requests.  She sends this back: “I wanted to make sure that all of your questions were answered. Please feel free to let me know if you have any further questions. Have an amazing week!”  So not only is it okay to completely ignore someone who makes you tens of thousands per year, it is also acceptable to avoid apologizing or admitting laziness.  I put her on the list of people not to be told about how to defend themselves from the zombie apocalypse.

So another day past the 1st and here I am again.  I reply to her previous message asking where the funds are now and if she will bother replying before a week passes.  I will have to wait and see if and when a reply comes.  I could also call and get a random person, but that’s not the point people.  She is my rep.  She is supposed to reply.  I’m just glad she’s not my zombie apocalypse rep.  I’d be the first one to go.

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