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Procrastination, self-hate, minor freak outs, and anxiety…oh, and I’m lazy

Not me. I would have zombies crashing through the walls while I held broccoli. I'll work on that next.

I have not posted on here in a while.  I have been meaning to.  Or I thought about it.  Once.  In the shower.  Or during one of many sleepless nights.  Either way, I finally said the hell with it.  I don’t need to be witty or charming.  I’m busy and freaking out on a manner of things.  So to burst the bubble once more, here’s a post.  You’re welcome.

School is the main reason for my recent hiatus.  I had a class that was worth more credit hours, and boy did they make up with it with more assignments and exams that the past two years combined.  Okay, I’m exaggerating.  But only the first part.

Basically I could not do anything outside of read, write, research, test, rinse, repeat, and pray for the zombie apocalypse.  And why did I not have the details on the zombie apocalypse?  What the hell people?  You must all be in a secret conspiracy to make sure I get eaten first.  Or you are hording all of the broccoli.  I’ll explain that later.

I can’t blame all of you.  The Zen Assassin warned me of the dangers of the apocalypse, as well as all the crazy crap that runs through our heads at four in the morning.  Do we learn?  No.  That ruins the fun.

So now I am planning my defense strategy for the zombie apocalypse.  This may or may not involve massive quantities of broccoli or wind.  Maybe both.  I’m still working on the science aspect.  I’ll get back to you.

In addition to the above and the all important zombie defense, my camera has a smudge.  A SMUDGE.  A few of my images were destroyed by some tiny stupid flicker of lint or water or whatever, so now I have to get the lenses cleaned.  And find a lens cap that stays on.  Mine tries to run away, probably from me.  Resistance is futile.  I will duct tape you if I have to.  Duct tape solves everything.  Unless you’re Greek.  Then use Windex.

The delay totally sucked.  I have at least 10 books in progress, another compilation for a poet, and a novel re-write with documentation to assess.  Luckily these people are patient with my intermittent psychosis.  Or they have no one else to do it for them.  I’m going with option 1.

Despite my total fail on the author front, sales for one of the books was unusually high the last month.  Not that I’m complaining.  I’m just surprised someone is sane enough to read them.  Or drunk enough to not know what they are buying online.  I’ll take either option.

Another job has turned into a real life version of the damn zombie apocalypse.  People are acting like they are possessed and working on world domination.  People.  It’s online.  In a box.  With a cable.  It’s not Narnia or some secret passage into taking over the world.  It’s a computer.  Walk outside.  Besides, Pinky and the Brain already have a job.  Look it up.

Why is it that at four in the morning every single sound you hear is some ghost, crazy zombie, or a werewolf waiting to kill you?  Seriously.  I should sleep more but I can’t.  This would be the ideal time to offer me anxiety or sleeping pills.  Or alcohol.  Or broccoli.  Totally the broccoli.

You may be thinking, “wth is with this post?  Has she gone crazy?”  Yes, yes I have.  And I’m preparing for the zombie apocalypse.  And I need broccoli.  Indulge me.

More on the broccoli later, and I promise to try to not be such an absent loser in the coming weeks.  No guarantees.

I also posted a link to a friend about kidney donation.  She’s dying.  She only needs one, you have two.  Suck it up and donate.  Somehow I also got into the finale of a contest to win 3 million frequent flier miles.  I have to do a video as my final entry.  Anyone that knows me knows I don’t even use the damn built-in webcam on my laptop.  Now I have to do a video?  Maybe I’ll use the zombies as a backdrop.  Or broccoli.  Either way it will rock.  Or totally suck.  Again, the first option makes more sense.

I’ll be back when I regain sanity, or to fill the hours of insomnia with random questions that hurt my brain daily.  Like zombies and broccoli.  You’re still wondering about the broccoli, aren’t you?


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